Behind the Scenes: The Art of Surviving an Audit

In the labyrinthine world of banking, where numbers reign supreme and regulations loom large, auditors are the gatekeepers of financial integrity. Their unyielding scrutiny can send even the most seasoned bankers into a cold sweat. At our branch office, audits are as inevitable as the monsoons and just as unpredictable.

Auditors have their own favorite motto: “In God we trust, the rest we audit.” But our bank’s management took it a step further with, “In God and auditors we trust; all officers are suspect until proven innocent.” We joke about it, but when the auditor walks through the door, you can feel the temperature in the room drop a few degrees.

Mr. Mathur, our Senior Branch Manager, a seasoned veteran of the banking industry, has witnessed his fair share of these audits, each one a unique and often comical adventure in his 30-year career. He’s faced every kind of auditor—internal, statutory, concurrent—you name it, they’ve knocked at his door. Despite his vast experience, there’s always a certain tension in the air when an audit is announced.

Mr. Mathur revealed the delicate balance between appeasing the auditors and ensuring the bank’s compliance. He shared anecdotes of extravagant hospitality, including special accommodations and even the provision of premium liquor, to keep the auditors happy and the audit process smooth.

Mr. Mathur’s tale begins with a humorous observation: “Two-thirds of the world is under water and the remaining one-third is under audit!” This hyperbolic statement underscores the pervasive nature of audits in the banking sector. Auditors come in various guises – internal, statutory, concurrent, and more – each with their own specific mandate and level of intensity.

Our Regional Manager, Mr. Goel, always extends the red carpet for auditors. He knows the drill—meetings in his office, special accommodations, and a reminder to all managers about the importance of completing audits smoothly. Last year’s auditor, who had a particular fondness for single malt scotch, barely stepped foot in the branch after the initial meeting. The audit was conducted from the comfort of his hotel room, and the report was spotless. As they say, a happy auditor makes for a happy branch.

But this year was different. A strict auditor was coming, and Mr. Goel warned Mr. Mathur in advance. Pressure began mounting on the credit department. Mr. Mathur had a long discussion with our Loan Manager, Mr. Saxena, who was responsible for handling most of the audit work. We didn’t know the specifics, but it was clear that something was being planned.

The atmosphere in the bank became tense as the auditor scrutinised every detail, leaving the officers on edge. After some tea and snacks, he dove into last year’s report, scrutinising every register, file, and ledger. By evening, the auditor’s face tightened, and it seemed like he had found something.

Over the next two days, the auditor combed through the branch’s records, requesting files left and right. Mr. Saxena rushed around like a man on a mission, yet he seemed oddly calm given the circumstances. On the third day, the audit team left, and we waited for the storm that was sure to follow.

But instead of panicking, Mr. Mathur called us into his office for tea and snacks. He had a story to share, and we eagerly listened, hoping it would shed light on the outcome of the audit.

He began with a tale about an employee named Shyamal Bose, who once attempted to claim travel expenses for his family under the Leave Fare Concession (LFC) policy. LFC is a perk offered to permanent employees of Indian banks, permitting them to travel with their families within India, subject to certain distance restrictions.

Bose’s unusual claim included expenses for his pet dog. When the Regional Office denied the claim, citing that pets were not covered under the Bipartite Settlements, Bose argued that the bank’s rules did not explicitly prohibit pets. He contended that if his entire family was traveling, someone would need to care for the dog. The employees’ union rallied behind Bose, supporting his claim.

The case was escalated to the Head Office, where it underwent extensive review. After careful deliberation, the decision was made that reimbursing the dog’s expenses was not in compliance with the existing agreements with the employees’ union. While Bose’s claim for the dog’s expenses was ultimately rejected, the remainder of his travel claim was approved.

However, the matter was not entirely resolved. Bose later admitted that he had lost some of his travel tickets. To avoid a shortfall in his reimbursement, which was contingent upon the submission of original tickets, he had devised the strategy of including the dog’s expenses. By drawing attention to the dog, he hoped to distract from the missing tickets.

Mr. Mathur chuckled, “Saxena Ji had presented the auditor with a similar canine companion.” The auditor had become so engrossed in a minor oversight that he had overlooked other areas of the audit. Mr. Goel and Mr. Mathur had anticipated this, having already reported the potential issue to the head office. Consequently, the audit concluded without any significant problems.

Mr. Mathur’s tale is a reminder that even in the seemingly mundane world of banking, there is always room for humour, ingenuity, and a little bit of mischief. It’s a testament to the resilience and adaptability of those who work in the industry, and a celebration of the often-overlooked human element in the world of finance.